The Issue That I Will Espn All Week

Posted by Tosten Burks | 7/07/2008 06:44:00 PM | 0 comments »

Whoa. That doesn't make any sense to you does it? New daily feature, new terminology, everything about the headline is making you feel either old or stupid or both. Don't worry. I'm prepared to explain.

Espn is not a noun. It's a verb. It is defined as the action, "To over cover and over hype a story and talk about it for about four days more than anyone actually cares about said issue." It is never capitalized in a sentence. It is so named because of the well known sports media company that made the tactic famous. And if it works for the guys in Bristol, it should work for

So what am I going to espn on and on and on about this week? The only actual news story in San Diego right now: Eric Parker.

Ya remember him? He was on the Chargers in 2006, and apparently he's still on the roster. He had a toe injury that put him on the couch all last year. Then he hurt his calf. He's still injured. He's probably not going to be ready for training camp. But allegedly there are teams out there who are lacking in couch loungers and thus Parker is on the trading block and has been a part of numerous trade rumors lately.

The most likely place he'll end up is Cleveland, who's possession receiver Joe Jurevicius has a bum knee and will probably be out for a while. Supposedly they want to replace Jurevicius with a another injured wide out, i.e. Eric Parker. Now why they would rather have a bum slot wr with a boring name over a bum slot wr with an awesome name is beyond me, but it's being reported that Parker to the Browns has a very strong possibility of happening.

I will be espning more on this topic tomorrow. And wednesday. And thursday. And friday.